When Hate Becomes Harmful

Writing Why I’ll Never Give Another Personal Interview got me thinking, why is there so much hate in the industry?  Not only that, why is it women are tearing down other women?

When a toxic person can no longer control you, they’ll try to control what other people think of you with misinformation.  Society tells us as the victim, to take the moral high ground and that others will eventually see the person for what they are – toxic.  But isn’t taking the moral high ground just settling?  Rolling over and saying that we won’t fight back because there’s a stigma that it makes us as bad as them?  Now that I’m old enough to process this, and as a victim of hate abuse I say fuck the moral high ground.

You’ve read my recent post, you know the back story, in a nutshell, a toxic person, let’s call her Ms Jackson, used her hate for me in an attempt to sabotage my career.  Something I can’t tolerate and why should I have to?  After all, this is a professional person in a senior teaching role in the Fashion DepartmentFashion Voyeur Meets Fashion North of Sunderland University, we’re not talking about your average internet troll.  Ms Jackson is a real person, I’ve interacted with her in real life on several occasions (and yes, she’s always been unpleasant and unprofessional in the time that I’ve worked with her).

One important point to make here Voyeurs is that it’s ok to hate me or anyone else.  I’ll never quash your opinion, or anyone else’s.  I’m adult enough to know that we all hate things, in my case it’s coconut, baked beans and Ellie Goulding.  What’s not ok however, is to take that hate and use it as a weapon against the very person who fuels your hate.  Not cool.  Also, it’s playground behaviour and will make you look like a dick when the misinformation comes crashing down around you.

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The position I find myself in now is one of uncertainty.  People who don’t know now me too well are being heavily influenced by a toxic person’s own warped personal opinion of me.  That personal opinion is creeping into their professional teachings as a deliberate attempt to prevent me from progressing my career.  You all know W. Blower has kept me in the loop throughout and on Monday I even got to see first hand the extent of the misinformation in a video taken during one of Ms Jackson’s group discussions.

Now whilst I’m flattered that for some reason I seem to be on the syllabus of the Fashion Programme at Sunderland University, I think we need to set a few things straight.  The information Ms Jackson is sharing is incorrect, inaccurate, bullshit if you will.

The thing that really got me though is that this woman works in the same industry as me and instead of celebrating the very small amount of success I’ve had, she’s out there, focussing actual energy on tearing me down with misinformation.  What’s more, it’s done in stealth mode, in secret, Like a covert mission. There’s got to be a reason for that right?  Yeah, you know it as well as I do Voyeurs.

You know me pretty well  you know that whilst I’m upfront and outgoing, I’m also guarded and fiercely protective of my family.  Being a mum is hard enough, but Plankton has a super duper rare, and pretty damn severe disability which adds in a whole bunch of extra challenges.  It’s not something I ever share, but because of my most recent vile third party experience with Ms Jackson it suddenly became a topic of discussion after her actions increased the risk to my family unit.

So, we’ve established that she hates me and a well placed source within the University tells me that I’m often talked about during her lectures and that she’s even gone on to advise the current cohort of students to avoid me because yes, you guessed it, she hates me.  Why does she hate me?  I’ve no idea, it could be anything, she’s pretty flakey.  The most recent reason I heard was that she feels there’s no place for Bloggers, that without a journalism degree I’m nothing.

Personally, I think there’s a place for everyone.  If you can make the best of a bad situation and turn that into a lucrative career then you deserve props.  I’m all for celebrating the successes of other people, whether they’re in my industry or not, you’ve got to question the integrity of the person supporting a toxic crusader and why they make the subconscious decision to believe the things they’re told without using their own knowledge as a gauge.

Yes, I’ve lost friends to this.  Will they come back?  Maybe, who knows.  I’m a omitting the question mark because I don’t really need an answer to that.  One thing’s for sure though, I refuse the moral high ground because in business it doesn’t exist.  There’s simply ‘polite hate’ and ‘harmful hate’ and I’ll never tolerate harmful hate.

So what about me?  Well Voyeurs, I’ll just keep on being awesome ??, and what of this misinformation, nay, bullshit? Well in the words of the formidable Andre 3000, I’m sorry Ms Jackson, I am for real.

Pixie xo

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Leave a comment

    • December 7, 2016 / 9:58 am

      Same saga, it’s gone on for years now. Just more info

  1. ashleigh
    December 9, 2016 / 2:40 pm

    This person is a little over obsessed with you – personally I’d be reporting her…

  2. December 12, 2016 / 7:36 pm

    Just got round to reading this whilst full of snot and coughing my guts up full of cold! I’m buzzing for you that your a topic of conversation in the university! Sorry but coming from a new blogger myself in the industry (not fashion related but still I’m no journalist that’s for sure) this sounds to me like complete jealously! A touch of the green earth does monster going on here! Seriously Ms Jackson needs to have a quiet word with herself on the corner of her classroom!!

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